I'm not entirly sure how to start this off.
if you know me in real life, then you'd know that I've had a girlfriend for the lest month or so, and that I really like her and that she's really pretty and sweet.
You'd also know that this morning I looked like a pissed off zombie, and if you're one of my teachers (though if you're here, news flash, you're a creeper) that the whole day I was doing other things (drawing, reading, ect.) in pretty much all my classes.
I'm going to start this off with Blue-J, my ex who I carpool with. I'm not out to him 'cause he'd probably think that he was a bad boyfriend and made me gay or something. He and I are really good friends and I'd never want him to feel that way (you know, because I'd like to think of myself as a decent person).
After I broke up with him, my friend Kalynn, who I liked, asked if she could date him, and I said yeah. Later, she broke up with him and started dating me.
Three days ago, I went dress shopping, and the next day when I got to school I asked if she had found one, and she said no becuase she wasn't sure if she was going to homecomming. She said that I had a date already and stuff and I'm over here like, "Baby it's you."
She went on this tangent about how she know "a guy" will ask her and that she doesn't want to say no to him. I give her a slightly anoyed okay(?) and we go on with our day. Yesterday, she consistantly ignored me the whole day, and I got home fealing confused. I though, "What if she's cheating?" But then realized, that no, she's too nice to do that to me.
boy was I wrong
This morning, when Jacob showed up for carpool, he pulls out a his phone and shows me and IG post.
It's of Kalynn, in a new dress, with a text screenshot of Jacob asking her to homecomming and the caption, "OMG!!!! I can't even handle how much I love him right now!!!!! "
I didn't say anything to Jacob, but I got this very dead look in the face because when my dad walked back in he gave me this weird ass look.
I get to school and power up to her, my face all strait and my brow furrowed, asked, "Seriously, Jacob?"
She asks me what I mean and I recite the IG post and she gets this very sheepish look and asks if I'm mad about it.
Fucking hell! Of course I'm mad about it!
i have trust issues, you know that!!!
i opened up to her, and she turned around and fucked it away (not literaly, or at least I hope )
I went over to the group of other gay kids who I don't really know that well, but whatever, and I had a quiet little cry. Luckly, I can usually help from ugly crying and letting my face get all puffed up if I really need to.
still I'm so down right now I can't even sleep, but at the same time I'm way to tired, I'm sure some of you know how I feel.